已经好久没有这种感觉了。。。
明明以为我不会在乎那么多，其实后来我才发现到我是在意的。
为什么要这样对我！！！ 要是他发生了什么事，我该怎么办？
我祷告，希望一切都没事，只是一个玩笑。
我的病情不是很乐观，吃了药，身体出了很多状况，有呕吐，头晕，就是全身不舒服。好像要死去的感觉。不知道这次看了这个医生，健康会好点吗？要难受。。。好难过。。。神阿救救我吧。。。 =（

我希望。。。
我的病会早点康复。。。
我的妈妈的健康也会进步。。。
我的弟弟的健康也会好点。。。
我的爸爸也是。。。
就希望我身边的人都健健康康的过日子。。。
每天都过得轻松，快乐，无忧无欲。。。

我盼望。。。
能够有自己的家。。。
一份比较高工资的工作。。。
我的缘分。。。

最近家里发生了好多不愉快的事，搞到自己很不开心。
要这么样才能快乐？
要这么样学着放手？
为什么我会那么爱这个家，反而搞到自己那么不开心？
就近我该做什么好？
我能够放弃这个家吗？
好烦啊！！！

这是一个怎么样的世界,人与人之间只有虚伪的微笑!一味的和气只是表面的,内心却是波涛汹涌。朋友……那似乎是一个很遥远的幻想！你能够真正交出真心，在你遇到困难时帮助你；在你伤心是安慰你的朋友又在哪里呢？面对这个纷繁的世界，我只感到无奈，除了忍受我已别无选择……这是一个…………我向茫茫人海大声呼喊，却没有回音。我感到迷茫和力不从心……有种感觉，是迷路小孩的无助与惶恐……

没有朋友，是一种惬意，是一种寂寞。抬头看天空，那是什么样的天空，灰色的……就像溺水的游鱼在水里是看不见自己的眼泪，不知道自己是属于哪一片天空……

我不想再为谁而活了..
我真的好累..

我不想再听到"对不起"这三个字..
说了又还有什么意义?
已经受伤害了,一切都来得太迟..

一切都已经改变了,不是吗?
我好想走出这个家,这个不愉快的家..
我好累!!!

眼前看到的都是恨恨恨!!!
啊..........................
救命啊!!!! 我快要崩溃了!!!!! 我想结束这一切!!!!我受够了！！！！

我的未来不属于我，我都不是我自己。一副空空的躯壳，没有灵魂没有思想。有是只有茫然和不知所措。习惯于人前与人后。真不知道自己过是什么样的生活。也许那才是真实的我自己，不用阳奉阴违，不用伪装，不用那么累，只是感觉好空虚，没有朋友，亲人一切都没有。

好想放开一切，什么都不用想。能有这么一个自由而且有真实自己的时刻吗？

你对我说这首歌是你想对我唱的，我听了这首歌。。。 我不否认是有点感人。。。可是内容你清楚你在说什么吗？嗨~

我一直在思考：能否会有人真的对我好，能否给我真正的依靠，就一直这么认为着，认真在找一个叫做快乐的天国，而忽略了寻找的理由，所谓的天长地久谁都不会拥有，爱过的人最多的也不就是一生的守侯！

爱过的心，没有过多苛求，对于别人的感动，自己不懂得形容，感受风，感受它吹来得轻松，痛苦的爱着那个不爱你的人 ，我们为什么呢！你爱的人爱着别人，你就该懂得，她也有你的伤心，有你同样的感觉，所以你不在伤心，不在堕落而是珍惜着现在爱你的人，关心你的人！

同样的世界，我们每个人都很平凡，也都不简单，关键是一种观念，伤心同化了你，你就会不一般，分解了你，激发了你，让自己借着这种力量留下回忆的痕迹！

简单的人，复杂的世界，我们认为的特殊，就是这世界的无奇不有 ，我们只是一个人，拥有的就是感受感情的智慧，我们快乐，伤心所有表现都很自然，只是有人把它深刻的放在了心上

复杂得人，简单的世界，因为没有人可以预测出你脑子里下一秒想什么，这样的世界，再我们每个人的心中都是不同的颜色，我们最后的结果却都还是自然的同一种底色！

我们真的复杂了，世界越来越简单了....

人们常常称赞有执着精神的人，把“永不言弃”作为人生箴言，却很少明白放弃也是一种美丽。如果说执着是勇气，那么放弃则是智慧。 有勇有谋，才算是一个魅力无穷的人吧。

我们干很多事都必须执着，因为胜利往往在最后坚持一下的努力之中。如果浅尝辄止，必然功亏一篑。我们也常被有执着精神的人感动吧，比如不懈地完成自己的事业，痴心不改地追求所爱的异性，最后感动上苍，获得成功。但要知道，不是每粒种子都能发芽，不是每种努力都可成功。

曾经有种感觉，想让它成为永远。过了许多年，才发现它已渐渐消逝了。后来悟出：原来把握在手的不一定就是我们真正拥有的，我们所拥有的也不一定就是我们真正铭刻在心的！继而明白人生很多时候需要一种对宁静的关照和自觉的放弃！这时又想起那句很哲理的话，是你的终归就是你的，不是你的暂时得到也会失去！

世间有太多的美好的事物，美好的人。对没有拥有的美好，我们一直在苦苦的向往与追求。为了获得，忙忙碌碌，真正的所需所想往往要在经历许多流年后才会明白，甚至穷尽一生也不知所终！而对已经拥有的美好，我们又因为常常得而复失的经历而存在一份忐忑与担心。夕阳易逝的叹息，花开花落的烦恼，人生本是不快乐的！因为拥有的时候，我们也许正在失去，而放弃的时候，我们也许又在重新获得。对万事万物，我们其实都不可能有绝对的把握。如果执意去追逐与拥有，就很难走出外物继而走出自己，人生那种不由自主的悲哀与伤感会更加沉重！有位名人说过，当上帝向你关闭一扇门的时候，另一扇门已经向你打开！

明白的人懂的放弃，真情的人懂的牺牲，幸福的人懂得超脱！当若干年后我们知道自己所喜爱的人仍好好的生活，我们会更加心满意足！“我不是因你而来到这个世界，却是因为你而更加眷恋这个世界。如果能和你在一起，我会对这个世界满怀感激，如果不能和你在一起，我会默默地走开，却仍然不会失掉对这个世界的爱和感激！感激上天让我与你相遇又与你别离，我们共同完成了为上帝所创造的一首诗！”

生命给了我们无尽的悲哀，也给了我们永远的答案。于是，安然一份放弃，固守一份超脱！不管红尘世俗的生活如何变迁，不管个人的选择方式如何变化，更不管握在手中的东西轻重如何，我们虽逃避也勇敢，虽伤感也欣慰！千万不要怀疑当初信誓旦旦的虚伪，千万不要责备爱的搁浅与情的沦丧，千万不要在寂寞独处时把封存的记忆咀嚼。

我们要像往常一样向生活的深处走去，只有放弃我们才走得更快，才可以携带更多新的东西；我们要像往常一样在逐步放弃，又逐步坚定。放弃也是种美丽！

Feel so "Tea" today....

Breakfast - Earl Grey Tea





Lunch - Green Tea





Tea Time - Boh Tea

忽然想要写我在上个周末做了些什么。。
就说星期六吧，说好了原本是要在放工后，给一个朋友英文补习的。谁知道睡过头，起身时已经是8点30分早晨。给工司请了假，在电话中交代好一些工作，马上放下工作心情。打给佩利约好我们一同去圣淘沙。到了巴拉湾海滩，在慵懒地躺在沙滩上，任习习凉风轻抚，坐在清爽的树荫下聊天，休息和放松。可惜天气忽然转变，下了一场小雨。过后时间也不早了。准备去巴西班让美食中心吃晚餐。晚了，给妈妈买了她喜欢吃的烧烤鱼和甘蔗水。我们就各自回家。


下了一场小雨，日落的景象

到家没到半小时，又出门去了。跟Richard和Ryan去到勿洛;Li Bin's的西餐店捧场。回到家已经是凌晨12点。

星期天，睡醒了吃早点准备去跑步。到了中午，和妈妈出门逛街。去了宜家（IKEA）逛家具也大开眼见，没想到我的妈妈的想法和眼光相当时装的，还以为她的想法很传统看来我错了。哈哈哈。。。吃了晚餐就回家去。。。这就是我的周末，一转眼就过去，过的也很快了=）

一直想到戏院去看这部电影，可惜一直都没机会。到了今天，我的弟弟依然记得我一直都很想看这部电影，于是他就买了这部DVD给我。好开心！！ 我终于看完这部电影。在这里也和你们一同分享。

我想，所有喜欢狗狗，曾经养过或者现在正在养狗狗的人，看这部电影都会有共鸣。电影里的某些镜头是多熟悉；原来，狗狗心里是这样想的……到最后，你会不会和在心里和曾经或者现在在你身边的的狗狗说一声“对不起”或“我爱你”
人类和狗狗相比，真的有太多的不足。。为什么狗狗可以恪守诺言从一而终，而我们不可以？为什么我们只有在遇到困难，在要求帮助的时候才会想起“狗狗”？

其实《与狗狗的10个约定》很真实的反应了现在大家养宠物的一个通病。一般都是家里的孩子说要养，然后狗狗小时候很可爱，大家都很喜欢，但是狗狗的寿命只有十年左右，他很快就老。然后就开始觉得他是累赘，越来越不喜欢他，或者做错了什么事情，然后一狠心，就会抛弃他，不要他了。。。

所以所以，在养狗狗之前一定要考虑清楚，你是不是有能力和毅力能够照顾他一辈子？他不是人类，但是他一样是有生命的，是和我们一样有感知的生灵。。。

要知道，他的生命里，只有你……




让您感动落泪的10个与心爱宠物的承诺

在Akari12岁的时候，最疼爱她的妈妈病倒了，小小年纪的Akari努力的想要振作精神，这时，一只可爱的小狗来到了Akari的家，贴心的狗狗很快的得到了Akari的喜爱，也和他成为最好的朋友，因为小狗狗的脚掌看起来就像是有穿袜子一样，所以有了这个有趣的名字--“袜子”；每一天都是“袜子”陪伴着Akari度过失去妈妈的日子，而Akari也是对”袜子”呵护倍至。然而，当 Akari慢慢长大，她开始有了新的朋友和兴趣，也因为求学的关系而搬离了家里，于是她和“袜子”之间的距离越来越远…不过有一天，她突然想起了她和”袜子”之间的10个承诺…

与狗狗的十个约定:你能承诺吗?

1.请给我一点时间，让我了解你对我的要求是什么。
Please be patience with me.

2.”信赖我”那对我非常重要。
Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well being.

3.你要知道，无论你如何对待我，我将永远不会忘记。
Please don't forget that I have feelings.Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it.

4.当你因为责骂我的不合作、固执或懒惰之前，请你想想，是否有什么正困扰着我，或许我没获得我应有的食物，我已经很久没在温暖的阳光下奔跑，又或者我的心脏已经太弱及太老。
Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.There's a reason when I don't listen to you.

5.请偶而对我说说话，纵使我不懂你说的内容，但我听的懂，那是你的声音在陪伴我。
Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice and when it's speaking to me.

6.当你打我时，请记得，我其实拥有可以咬碎你手骨的尖锐牙齿，我只是选择不咬。
Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

7.在我年老时，请好好照顾我，因为你也是会变老的。
Take care of me when I get old. You, too, will grow old.

8.请别对我生气太久，也别把我关起来当作是惩罚。你有你的工作、你的娱乐、你的朋友，但你却是我的仅有。
Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I have only you!

9.在你把我带回家之前，请记得，我的寿命只有10~15年，你的离弃，会是我最大的痛苦。
My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.

10.当我要挨过最辛苦的历程时，请千万不要说「我不忍心看他这么痛苦」或是「让我不在场时才发生」。我要你知道，只要有你和我在一起，所有的事都会变得简单容易接受。
Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or "Let it happen in my absence". Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember, I love you.

这也是你的梦想吗？让我们在起期待好吗？

哈哈。。。 改招一个新的图片，看来心情也好多了。
希望下来可以写多一些快乐的事。 开始感觉有点困了。 明天还有一天要奔忙，放工后约了一个朋友给他英文补习。唯一让我疲累好几天的，也就是在准备明天的作业。明天会更好！！

对不起。。我有我的难言。。 希望有一天你会明白。。。 在这里献给你我的祝福。。。
以下是我想对你说的话。。。或许有一天会有奇迹出现吧。。。 嗨。。。。。。。。。。。。

I’m sorry I must have caused suck sadness with the things I said to you and, ever since I said them, I’ve been feeling so sad too. There’s simply no excuse to behave in such a way nor to hurt you as I did with the words I spoke that day

I hope you can forgive me and that you’ll somehow understand that I’m sorry for upsetting you and it wasn’t what I planned. These words that you are reading, that today I send along express my heartfelt feelings for, I was truly in the wrong.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

这两天，忙着准备些英文料理。把自己给累坏了，这也不是件坏事，至少我能够早点上床睡觉。 突然间不知道我该写些什么好。。。 嗨。。。



或许忙碌，也是一种痛苦的解脱。
忙碌,不仅仅是工作,也有生活。
换个名词叫充实，再进一步的解释就是累，之后的联想就是期待休息。
在忙碌的日子，安静的，享受这一切。

A story i read somewhere else... sharing to those who are reading my blog.... it's hits me on my head again after reading this story. This happens to our life very frequent i suppose, perhaps a little reminder to you after u read this story.. hope it's not too late to change if you think there's a need before having regrets in life... enjoy reading.... and also dedicate the song to you....

ONLY LOVE

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"

"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."

"You mean Dr. Shu?"
Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."

They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.

"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."

"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."
The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.

"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"

Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.

"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.

After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.

"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.

"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.

"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"

"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."

"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."

"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.

"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.

"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"

"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.

"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."

"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.

"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.

As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.

Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.

"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"

"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.

"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.

That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.

"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.

"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.

"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."

"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.

I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."

He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.

I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??

I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.

Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."

I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.

"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.

And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.

They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.

Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.

I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?

I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.

We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.

I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?

With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

"Hwei."

That's my name.

"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."

I received it and it's so beautiful.

"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."

Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.

"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."

Good that you're admitting it.

"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."

I waited so many years for those words.

"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."

You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?

"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."

Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.
"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"

That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.

As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.

The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.

Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.

"Will you marry me?"

When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.

Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.

So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."

I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."

Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."

I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.

I answered you. What about you?

昨晚，放工回到家觉得好疲倦。洗澡过后休息一回又回去做报告。时间也过得很充实。不知不觉在作报告中，却睡觉去，一觉到天亮还作了个美梦。希望每一晚都能一样，没有睡眠问题带着美梦。 =）

能够快乐的生活着,我想对每一个人来说都应该是人生最大的愿望了。我要快乐!我要的幸福很简单,练习着坚强,学习会遗忘,等待彩虹再次出现,展翅飞翔.我要幸福!我一定可以做到的！加油！加油！加油！

这首歌是我在梦里听到的，还以为我已经不记得了，谁知道在883电台听到这首歌在播放时，启发我在伯格和你一同分享。

我很珍惜过去的回忆...更要把握未来相聚的机会

我，我已麻木。这个世界这么伤，这个世界更是现实和残酷的，我的生活那么累，我好想休息，好想过的开心点，。。。。 生活真的让我无奈，我不知道要怎么去面对这所有的一切，我想我会一直孤单，因为我一直过着孤单的日子，没有人会问我过的好不好，没有人能明了我心承受着多少伤，为什么世上人那么多却没有真正对我好的？为什么那么多虚伪的面孔？为什么就不能给我你们的真诚？为什么你们从不知我所想？为什么我那么傻？

经常都是一个人上下班，真的很累，有时会寂寞的想哭，突然觉得只有我一个人了，没有我最好的倾诉者，没有读懂我的人。没有，什么都没有，我害怕孤单，害怕黑夜，害怕被欺骗，害怕一个人走夜路，害怕会碰到坏人。讨厌那些欺骗我感情的人，讨厌那些假心假意之人，讨厌那些世态炎凉。。。。。

我一直都是独来独往，慢慢的习惯孤单，习惯在无人的黑夜哭泣，我习惯了对着天空发呆，习惯了对着天空自言自语，可是有是会很想摆脱这些习惯，真的好难过，我不知道这样的生活很能继续多久，我只知道我已很疲惫，已经不起什么打击了。。。。


我曾想念的人人呀，我曾那么爱着的人呀。你会有天深深的把我爱吗？呵呵，人真的好奇怪，爱我的人我不爱，我却痴痴的等待一个没有结果的爱情，而现在我已经麻木了，不在去想他，虽然偶尔回想起，可已不再深深爱，经历那么多我累了，也不想去奢求和勉强什么，只希望，如果有个人爱我是真心的，是真诚的。。。。

其实我有好多话要说，可是我现在脑子却是一片混乱，千言万语却不知为何不知怎么说也许是伤的太多，也许是我已经麻木了，也许我对所有的一切已经失去梦想了，我不再有期盼，不再有幻想，不再有心动，除了发呆我还能去怎么做呢？

一切都再变，是什么让我变的如此卷怠？是岁月？还是那些我在乎的爱情和友情？还是那些曾用心算计我的人？我真的好无助。无助的一个人静静的哭，无助到迷茫，无助到失去斗志。。。。。


花开花落，是是非非，真真假假，你你我我，是何其的现实？时间能改变一切，是的，他能改变一切，因为我变了，我不再是我，我已失去太多太多，我不再真正开心的笑，不再觉得有天回有什么奇迹出现，我虽然表面很快，其实我在笑的时候是我心最痛最伤的时候，一个人静静发呆，一个人静静的走开，不想成为任何人的牵拌，不想让任何人同情，不想再想什么最浪漫的事，一切都已远去，我已不再是我，我心已麻木，有时它不会痛，不会有灿烂的笑。。。。。。


我已不再是我，那个我丢了，我已迷失了。前方啊，没有方向，我的路没有路。。。。。。。

我知道一切都不会是好的结果！
自己只是一个过客这都不属于自己 ，
我到底在期待什么！
可是，我还是一直很任信的在期待！
它们在我的心中不停的交叉。
不停的，蜿蜒，缠绕。
我知道不会有想要的结果，
不必在痴心妄想了。。。。。。
一切都不会像我想的那么简单。
尽管，我使劲的想，还是想不到，
想不到，猜不透。
一切的一切都是那么熟悉，
那么真实，以前的一切都不是梦，都是真的。
抹去记忆，重新開始，
我真的 做不到！！

人生在很多时候要学会自觉放弃才会得到新的幸福，放弃一种思想，一种期望，一种情感，一种缘份，一种思念…一切的一切我都要学会去放弃，因为它们并不属于我，放弃了一个心仪却没缘份的朋友，过去一起走过的日子可以重温却不可以重来，我现在可以彻底的放开了，因为本来的认识就是一种错误的开始，我们都要为我们的认识和过去付出代价，不管我放弃的方式如何，手中责任的轻重，我都绝不后悔，因为每一次听到曾经熟悉的声音曾经熟悉的脸庞，都让我忘不了过去，爱不定会要拥有对方，喜欢也不一定会选择，如花的年龄很快过去，我想开始新的生活而结束过去…

如今想来都是事已人非了，过去天真，真的相信了一切，现在回头想想…不值得……真的不值得…我现在开始适放自己…忘掉过去，忘掉那一段不现实的过去…一切都不现实…我也曾经放弃过，但发现自己真的放不开,现我终于想通了,明知道会受到伤害明知道会没有结果,我到底还要坚持什么?到底我在坚持多久,反反复复我想了好久好久,真的应该结束过去了,都说失去的东西你才觉得是珍贵,因为它让你笑过,哭过,悲伤过,幸福过......

每个都有自己的过去,过去的意义在于带给我们经验与情感的体验,这个世界上真正属于自己的东西并不多,如果不好好珍惜,它就会离你而去,包括爱情,亲情,生活,工作,学习,理想,诺言,追求.......很多人说不求天第地久,只求曾经拥有,试问:你真的不在乎吗?你真的做得到吗? 我肯定地说我做不到，我不想这样过日子.更不是因为你而让我一生守候.这一切都是你让有了这样的坚持.所以我们从此又要做回陌生人.原来经历了那么多我和你还是属于无言的结局.但这就是你一直想要的结果.现在我终于让它给你实现了,所以在我的世界里不会再有关于你的记忆.... .

现在发觉真的好累了,心理负担好重,这样过得好累好累,所以我要放开一切,结束过去........开始新的生活.

黑夜中，熟睡中，

习惯被你宠着，看着你舍不得的样子；
习惯被你搂着，害怕我一下子就不见了；
习惯听着你的呼吸声入睡，我才安然的熟睡；


习惯把腿放在你的身上，知道你在我旁边；
习惯把头放在你的胸膛上，让我感觉到安全；
习惯把你的胳膊压在我的头下，让我在无助中随时可以抓住你；

习惯每天被你叫醒，
习惯吃饭的时候都给你备好碗筷，
习惯洗衣服时到处找你的衣服，
习惯，都已习惯了。

天亮了，清醒了，
习惯不应在有了；
人去楼空，
一切的习惯都只能在梦中感觉。


时间走了，你重新来过，物是人非，过去了便不再回来

爱一个人：要了解，也要开解；要道歉，也要道谢；要认错，也要改错；要体贴也要体谅，是接受，而不是忍受，是宽容，而不是纵容；是支持，而不是支配；是慰问而不是质问；是倾诉，而不是控诉，是难忘而不是遗忘；是彼此交流，而不是凡事交待：是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求，可以浪漫，但不要浪费；可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手!如果你都做到了，即使你不再爱一个人，也只有怀念，而不会怀恨。

头疼...不知道自己该怎么做了.告诉自己要顺其自然却不知道怎么做才算是自然.还是把问题留给时间.时间能告诉我答案吧.感觉他比我想的事情更多,也许一直在徘徊挣扎调整自己,而我没有试着去忘记一个人,比他想的事情要简单吧.也许忘记和放弃一个人确实很痛苦,却不知道怎么去安慰的,还是要自己去接受得失,好好的调整下自己,想下自己要的是什么,放弃是否是值得的.也许当他想明白的时候我也差不多明白了.试着从自己设计的迷宫中走出来还是出不来,那就翻墙出来吧,可是闲下来的时候发现自己又走进去了,又要进行新一轮的分析,接着又从中走出来.在里边的感觉是迷茫的但也是幸福的,让自己懂得更多吧.试着给自己个爱上某人的机会发现做什么事情都是那么的没动力,关心都变得难以启齿.也许是向往自由的人也希望给别人最大的自由吧.很想找懂我的人一起品味生活, 发现好难,连自己都觉得自己是个怪胎哈哈...

昨天和一朋友在msn上聊天，她说：“世上的爱都是会变的，都是有条件的，只有上帝的爱才是不变的，永恒的......所以我现在也不求地上能有不变的 爱。不求，就不失望了。”我不赞同说世上没有永恒的爱，我们没有碰上并不代表真的没有，爱情没有永恒，那父母对子女的爱呢，总是会有永恒的吧。

我 喜欢最后那句话：“不求就不失望。”要有这样的心态，真不容易啊。我没有完全到达那种状态，但是与之接近。

有人讲：人生没有希望，就不会有失望；没有失望，那里会有绝望；要是没有绝望，就不会有新生……而我认为：人生不一定就是 希望，失望，绝望，新生的链条。

希望和失望如影随行。希望常是一二三，失望却是七八九。绝望也不是失望的必经之路。失望和绝望不存在因果关系，并不是因为失望才绝望。而是人企求的希望 值越高，所要承受失望的压力就越大。而一个人能承受多大的压力，取决于人的社会历练和和心理心态。因此，我在遇事时从不企求过高的希望，而是想会遇到什么 问题，遇到问题该怎样解决。这样即使不成功也不会绝望。当然，失望是肯定的，起码自己能承受得了，可以摇摇头又轻装上阵。所以，绝望是希望过高衍生出来的 恶性肿瘤，在希望破灭承受不了失望的压力时便选择了绝望。

人忙碌一生，最终希望能在大钱世界里 实现自己的人生价值，寻找自己的人生支点。这个支点就是人被社会所承认的定位。这个奋斗的目标就是人生的希望。

在寻求的过程中，强差人意的事——失望，肯定随时都有，关键是在制订目标时不能好高骛远，要脚踏实地的一个台阶一个台阶的去攀登。每个台阶就是人生每个阶段的希望。那么，绝望恶瘤就不可能在健康的心态和肌肤上登录。

张小娴 说: 失望，有时也是一种幸福，因为有所期待，所以才会失望，因为有爱，才会有期待，所以纵使失望，也是一种幸福，虽然这种幸福有点痛。

梦见你，对着我唱这首歌。。
我希望时间能够停留在那时刻。
不会在让你在离开我了。
我感到好孤单，好像有你在我身边陪伴着我。
应许的话请带着我跟你一起，你在天上，听见了吗？

最累的辛苦是想一个人想到哭；最大的满足是你曾经给我的在乎,最大的幸福是让最爱的人幸福！这样，人生就了无遗憾了！人们都知道终究会死，可也要努力的活着。去爱吧，就象不曾受过一次伤一样；跳舞吧，就象没人欣赏一样；唱歌吧，就象没有人聆听一样；干活吧，就象不需要钱一样；生活吧，就象今天是末日一样。有一天，身子问心：我痛了有医生治，你痛了谁来治？心说：我自己给自己治！

人生，这样的人生能有几回真，爱过了，痛过了，只留下斑斑伤痕。有缘相识无份聚，苍天难道只欺有情人吗？当然，爱你的心永不悔，想你的情永不退。现在才知道，看不到你的容颜才明白什么是思念；听不到你的声音才知道什么叫做期盼；没有你的在我身边才深深体会到孤单。真的好好想想你！世上最难断的是感情；最难求的是爱情；最难还的是人情；最难得到的是友情；最难分的是友情；最难找的是真情；最难受的是无情。最酸的眼泪；最苦的是思念；最咸的是人生。人生就是这样多滋多味吗？？

人们都说彩虹总在风雪后，秋实总在春花后。是吗？孤独总在离开后；珍惜总在错过后；眼泪总在情浓后；笑容总在玫瑰后。什么才是以后？？永远到底有多远？？？世界最远的距离，不是生与死，而是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你；世界上最远的距离不是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你，而是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起；世界上最远的距离不是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起，而是明明无法抵挡这股思念，却还得装作丝毫没有把你放在心里；世界上最远的距离不是明明无法抵挡这股思念，却还得装作丝毫没有把你放在心里，而是用自己冷漠的心对我爱的你掘一条无法跨越的沟渠………………老鼠对猫许下的承诺是一笔永远也不能还清的債，所以不要轻易说爱。有一种爱叫做放手；你永远是我的眼中的那滴泪，我还会哭吗？？？伤心吗？？？女人善变的是脸，男人善变的是心，在爱的世界里，没有谁对不起谁，只有谁不懂得珍惜谁，是吗？？？叶子的离开是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留呢？？即使永远是你的插曲，也会为你弹出世间最动人的旋律………………不过，还能这样吗？

雨说天空总会落泪；玫瑰说爱情总有枯萎；离别说寂寞无滋无味；咖啡说活着得习惯苦味；路一走就累；酒一喝就醉；雨一落下就碎，外面不是正下雨吗？日子滴在时间的岁月里，青春的生命现已逐渐远去，真不想让不复返的日子刻画了自己，不会忘了疼爱自己的。一切闪闪发光的东西，经过风吹雨打，就会褪色的！！！

童话是永远不会在现实中存在的吧？灰姑娘的故事只会在童话里才有啊！你一定要比我幸福！！！

我想记得你泪水的光泽，我想记得你最后的选择，我想记得却偏偏不可能，情愿我一个人，跟幸福很陌生，爱在灿烂里飞扬，却在最荒凉落下，我现在的心情不想让人知道，我回不到昨天，去擦你的眼泪。若时间能后退，世上就没有抱歉，我回不到昨天。去完成那永远！

在我们结束爱之前，我回不到昨天，去擦你的眼泪，若时间能后退，世上就没有抱歉，我回不到昨天，去完成那永远，在我们结束爱之前！

感情渐渐离去，泪湿我的心，忘记这段情，忘记你是我唯一。撕碎的回忆让我狠狠忘记你！！爱你实在太累，没有后悔流下泪，疼你的人已心醉，流过的泪不后悔，虽然爱你实在太累，爱过的人不想再追，伤了走了醉了碎了，爱了你实在太累！！

说好泪不流，缘份已尽的时候你不再要借口，风停了雨顿了你一定要走，我还站在记忆里在感受，你这该死的温柔让我心在痛泪在流，就在和你说分手以后想忘记已不能够，你这该死的温柔让我止不住颤抖，哪怕有再多的借口我都无法再去牵你的手！！

命运不是上天安排的，要靠自己！摆脱命运的枷锁并不难，只要有恒心！！！相信你一定能行！记得，你一定要幸福！！

我生病了,发烧;咳唢;嗓子发炎,反正是没什么好的地方了,感觉全身不舒服.躺在床上,真的不想动.看着杂乱的房间,我真的躺不下去了.支撑着爬起来,一阵的恶心与眩晕,让我又坐回了床上.

今天自己烧菜吃了，不知道是什么原因，是空调温度开的太低还是虾不干净，总之，一吃完饭身体就很不舒服，感觉有人在嗓子里塞了团棉花，我喘不上气，头也痛，整个人没有一点力气！

今天早早睡觉，希望明天起来又是个活蹦乱跳的我，也祝福我的朋友们能健康！

我们也许可以同时爱两个人，又被两个人所爱。遗憾的是，我们只能跟其中一个厮守到老。爱上一个人的时候，总会有点害怕，怕得到他；怕失掉他。你曾经不被人所爱，你才会珍惜将来那个爱你的人。

不能见面的时候，他们互相思念。可是一旦能够见面，一旦再走在一起，他们又会互相折磨。只想找一个在我失意时可以承受我的眼泪;在我快乐时，可以让我咬一口的肩膊如果我不爱你，我就不会思念你，我就不会妒忌你身边的异性，我也不会失去自信心和斗志，我更不会痛苦。如果我能够不爱你，那该多好。

别离，是为了重聚。爱火，还是不应该重燃的．重燃了，从前那些美丽的回忆也会化为乌有．如果我们没有重聚，也许我僣带着他深深的思念洽着，直到肉体衰朽；可是，这一刻，我却恨他．所有的美好日子，已经远远一去不回了．

当他伤害我, 我会用过去美好的回忆来原谅他, 然而, 再美的回怀也有用完的一天了,最后, 只剩下回忆的骸,一感冒原本是一种很伤感的病追求和渴望，才有快乐，也有沮丧和失望。经过了沮丧和失望，我们才学会珍惜。你曾经不被人所爱，你才会珍惜将来那个爱你的人。

『如果情感和岁月也能轻轻撕碎，扔到海中，那么，我愿意从此就在海底沉默... 你的言语，我爱听，却不懂得，我的沉默，你愿见，却不明白...』

爱上了你，我才领略思念的滋味、分离的愁苦和妒忌的煎熬，还有那无休止的占有欲。为什么你的一举一动都让我心潮起伏？为什么我总害怕时光飞逝而无法与你终生厮守？

爱情本来并不复杂，来来去去不过三个字，不是『我爱你』,『我恨你』,便是『算了吧』你好吗？』、『对不起相爱却不能相恋，相恋却不相爱。

我也相信爱可以排除万难；只是，万难之后，又有万难。这是我更相信的你的心就是我的海角和天涯，我不能去得更远。我们此生共赴天涯海角，不是游走半个地球，而是人间相伴。甚么事情都会成为过去，我们是这样活过来的。你爱我吗?已经爱到危险的程度了.危险到什么程度? 已经不能一个人生活.

相逢,不是恨晚,便是恨早.爱情是风花雪月的事，失意的人是玩不起的。无法厮守终生的爱情，不过是人在长途旅程中，来去匆匆的转机站，无论停留多久，始终要离去坐另一班机。离开之后，我想你不要忘记一件事：不要忘记想念我。想念我的时候，不要忘记我也在想念你。爱情不是避难所,想进去避难的话，是会被赶出来的。如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

在爱情的世界里，总有一些近乎荒谬的事情发生，当一个人以为可以还清悔疚， 无愧地生活的时候，偏偏已到了结局，如此不堪的不只是爱情，而是人生。爱情原来是凄美的吞噬，但愿我的身体容得下你，永不分离。
爱一个人，你是会自爱的。

承诺本来就是男人与女人的一场角力，有时皆大欢喜，大部份的情况却两败俱伤。
爱情不是避难所，想进去避难的话，是会被赶出来的。
最厉害的病毒，是爱和谎言。

若不爱一个人，便无权要求他无条件奉献，更不忍看着淌血的人守护身旁，欠不起这样深情。我们害怕岁月，却不知道活着是多么的可喜。我们认为生存已经没意思，许多人却正在生死之间挣扎。甚么时候，我们才肯为自己拥有的一切满怀感激？

忘掉岁月，忘掉痛苦，忘掉你的坏，我们永不永不说再见。
人生的大部份时间里，承诺同义词是束缚，奈何我们向往束缚。
思念只是一种习惯，就习惯一下不去思念任何人吧。

爱火，还是不应该重燃的。重燃了，从前那些美丽的回忆也会化为乌有。如果我们没有重聚，也许我会带着他深深的思念活着，直到肉体衰朽；可是，这一刻，我却恨他。所有的美好日子，已经远远一去不回了。

爱情从希望开始，也由绝望结束。死心了，便是不再存在着任何我曾经对你有过的希望。爱上了你，我才领略思念的滋味、分离的愁苦和妒忌的煎熬，还有那无休止的占有欲.为什么你的一举一动都让我心潮起伏？为什么我总害怕时光飞逝而无法与你终生厮守？为什么要那么痛苦地忘记一个人，时间自然会使你忘记。如果时间不可以让你忘记不应该记住的人，我们失去的岁月又有甚么意义？明知会失去自由，明知这是一生一世的合约，为了得到对方，为了令对方快乐，也甘愿作出承诺。恋爱旳一个追求不自由的过程，当你埋怨太不自由了的时候，就是你不爱他的时候。孤单不是与生俱来，而是由你爱尚上个人的那一刻开始。

喜欢一个人，是不会有痛苦的。爱一个人，也许有绵长的痛苦，但他给我的快乐，也是世上最大的快乐。人生的大部份时间里，承诺同义词是束缚，奈何我们向往束缚。

爱情，是自身的圆满，我不再缺少些甚么了。爱情也是一种发明，需要不断改良。只是，这种发明跟其他发明不一样，它没有专利权，随时会给人抢走。暗恋最伟大的行为，是成全。你不爱我，但是我成全你。真正的暗恋，是一生的事业，不因他远离你而放弃。没有这种情操，不要轻言暗恋。

爱，从来就是一件千回百转的事。不曾被离弃，不曾受伤害，怎懂得爱人？ 爱，原来是一种经历，但愿人长久。

今天是你的生日，我像往常一样，买了一个生日蛋糕，点上蜡烛，许下了每个你我生日时候都会许下的同一个生日愿望。唯一不一样的，是今天的我只能在远处，在心里给你过生日，而不能像以前那样，在你耳边说声“生日快乐”。
看着蜡烛燃烧，看着眼前的生日蛋糕，我的眼睛又湿润了。心中有着许多的话想跟你诉说，但是我却不能跟你说，只能将它们深深的埋在心里。

你知道吗？在你离开的这几年以来，我无数次的失落，悲伤，甚至绝望。只是因为对你那份深深的爱，我坚持下来了，我相信，只要心中的爱不灭，一切困难都阻挡不了我的。回想起这几年来，你给我带来是什么？是一次次的伤害，一次次的失望，直到最后，我终于无法再相信你，你我绝望。除了这些，我带给你的还有什么？你看不到我的改变，从我身上，你看不到你的未来，看不到你的幸福，所以我选择了离开。虽然你也曾深深的爱着我，无法自拔。虽然你曾说过，自从和我在一起，你给了我太多太多美好的回忆，我永远无法忘记的回忆。

可如今，这一切也只能是曾经，也已经变成了回忆，你已经离开了，虽然我也曾努力过，想要挽回这段感情，想要把你留着，但是，无助的我一次次被你否决了。我懂你的寂寞，知道你的无奈，明白你心里的痛苦，但是我能做什么？我什么也做不了，什么也不能带给你。这样的爱，还能算爱么？

昨天晚上躺在床上，想了好多好多。既然我们不能在一起过我们想要的生活，不能给彼此幸福，我又凭什么不让你去追求你的幸福，去找寻你想要的生活呢？思来想去，我终于说服自己，放手让你去飞翔，去寻找那一份属于你的蔚蓝天空。

相信我，虽然我心早已在你离开的那一刻死掉，但我答应过你会好好的生活，为了你，我会好好的活着。也请你答应我，一定要幸福。记住，有这么一个人在远远的看着你。

最后，再一次祝你生日快乐，以后每一年的今天，不管我在哪儿，都会为你祝福

许多年过去了，我还是没有办法忘记他。如果时间可以磨灭一个人的记忆的话，那么我只想知道，这段时间究竟要过多久。而我和他又究竟算不算有缘，如果没有，为什么要让我们如此巧妙地相遇；如果有，又为什么近在咫尺却又好似远在天涯。

我们很偶然地相遇，并一见倾心，我们都以为找到了自己生命中的另一半，为此欣喜不已——这个时刻我等了多久啊！我多么希望能有一个喜欢我，而我也喜欢的男孩，跟我开开心心地谈一场恋爱，而这一切，今天我终于等到了。

然而，现实总是不如想象中那么美好。我们的恋情进行得却异常地艰难。一开始，就矛盾不断，误会连连，继而是长时间的冷战。

一瞬间，时间仿佛凝固了，一瞬间，时间又仿佛飞逝了，我期望依久的爱情，还没来得及开始，就这样静悄悄地结束了。初识时的惊喜和甜蜜似乎还在昨天，可它转眼间就这么快地消失了。

短暂的茫然和不知所措之后，我才感到天塌地陷般的痛苦，它们铺天盖地的席卷而来。以后的岁月里，对我来说犹如炼狱，没一天我都无法抑制地会想起他，吃饭的时候想她，甚至连晚上睡觉的时候也仍在想着他。

我老是在想，这段感情，问题到底出在哪里，为什么昨天还在一切，今天却彼此分离？我一次又一次地在脑海中搜寻着我们在一起时为数不多的、快乐的日子，经常会忍不住地流出了眼泪。

我相信自己是一个很坚强的女孩，不管痛苦有多大，我都要勇敢地去接受它。我还时常劝告自己这不过是很普通的一段感情故事罢了，现在的痛苦也只是短暂的，它们终将会过去的，我终究也会再遇到一个爱我的人的，他带给我的伤口也终究会被时间抚平的。我还时常告戒自己：“我绝不会像小说里的人一样整天郁郁寡欢，伤害自己——因为生活总是要继续的，就当我今生没有遇见他，一切都没发生过吧。”

话虽然这么说，但真真切切发生过的事情，又如何当作没发生呢？

几乎每天晚上我都失眠，可是谁又来缓解我的痛苦呢？一次又一次，我在寂静的深夜里无法入睡——我的心伤到了极点，然而这一切，又有谁知道呢？为了让自己尽快走出这段痛苦的日子，我积极地想出各种办法来“拯救”自己，在情绪低落的时候，一个人出外走走，希望新的环境能冲淡我对他的记忆………像这种忧伤的日子究竟还有多长啊！
　　
台湾作家张小娴曾经说过：“两人的距离不是生与死的距离，也不是天之涯、地之角的距离，而是我在你的对面，你却不知道我爱你的距离。”多么地无奈，