爱上一个人的时候，总会有点害怕，怕得到他；怕失掉他。

爱一个人很难，放弃自己心爱的人更难。

Supposingly, going to Uncle's condo for swim and sauna, in the end it was cancelled. So i went for a jog instead. Remember the old peh peh? i met him there again where we last saw each other with his pet dog. We went jogging together. There's one saying "姜还是老的辣" it's very true. I didn't really talk and like my usual self he can sense something is wrong and we had a long chat. And make me have an eye opening too...

Got to give some deep thoughts over again for what i am in the position now. Feel sorry that i scare my mum earlier on, i passed out suddenly at home. I feel so bad to see her worrying about me. she did ask me not to go jogging and yet i insist. sigh.... Anyway i'm fine now.... Nothing can beats me down. I'm a Strong gal now and always....

加油！加油！加油！

如果说分手是通苦的起点,

那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍,

想要对你说的不敢说的爱,

在这世间最感动的是爱,

最珍贵的是情,最美好的是梦,

最害怕的是痛,

最心酸的是离,

最难的是你,

最难忘的也是你.

Yeah... little updates....Change of Music and background again...

I spend Christmas with him!! Yippy.... I'm Happy... At least not like what i felt earlier when i said this year christmas will be a blue one... we catch Australia.... Long Movie 3 hours plus show.... after that i gave the pressie i made for him, i can't feel if he likes it anot but i hope he likes it... of cos after heard what his ex's had prepare for him i am no one to compare with. Perhaps i can say each and individual likes. anyway forget abt that not forgetting him reminded me not to feel upset or anything. yada yada............ Went back during noon and was starting feeling unwell... sigh..

And yes i was sick... i was down with high fever then on medical leave for 2 days..... during the period of time, i've assorted kinds of feeling and emotions. I had nightmares too... it's a real tortured feeling for me =( i even had the mind set of letting go of everything..... Have this ever happened before in u? Like when u are feeling so sick and yet you don't feel like letting your love one knows about it, yet at the same time you wish him by your side to care abt you to take care of you... I'm so sick till i can't moved out from my bed, but just to take medicine and slp continously. Felt like i am dying! it's been so long since i fall sick this way. I cannot imagine if i just go off.... which i even wished i could to be frank. =( I hate myself alot. I hate myself for not walking out from my past completely and having so many nonsense feeling, insecureness,low self esteem, no confidence,forgetting how to trust my partner, or is it i am not able to feel the love from my partner to let me imaginations run wild again? i seriously don't know!! I'm feeling very vexed. The feeling is like i am being locked in a dark room calling for help from outside and yet i can't be heard by anyone to come to my rescue. I'm so scare. I feel like i am like the little child again. Why am i behaving like this? Ain't me the very strong gal always? =~( I'm feeling very pain.... Is it really so hard to fall in Love again? What's wrong with me?? Is there a someone who can be understanding and can go thru with what i am going thru to able to be strong and trust love again? Will there be the someone who really have the patience in me with my nonsenses? Will there be the someone who's really willing to exchange love with me? If i am willing to step out and change for the better for everything, will you be the one who gives me your full support and work it out together with me ? Will there really be the one there? Yes i know you are there, but these questions kept coming into my mind, i wondered how long will this last.... yes ppl who's reading this must be scolding me silly and crappy but seriously this is what i wanted to say in my heart,mind and soul....

Today had a family outing with cousins and i see the difference after so long we last met and gathered together, everyone has grown up and so we talk about love, i really think i m up to no good to share anything about love to them. atleast they know what they are persusing in love but what about me? question marks everywhere in my head. i can advise them about love why can't i do the same to myself. if i do the same to myself will my partner be happy i am sure he will not be cos i am having doubts and could be nonsense to him again. Perhaps i've fallen for a guy and yet i thought i understand him for who he is and yet actually i didn't understand him at all... I'm missing you and really i am missing you which i can't tell why am i missing you so much......

Today it's Christmas Eve~ Am always looking forward to this day every year of the time, suddenly i don't have the same feeling like i use to have few years back... Am i getting old and so i don't feel that way anymore? Or am i expecting too much then the outcome didn't turn out to be the one i wanted and so i feel this way? Anyway... it's still sometime till Christmas!! So Shall See....

Dedication of Silent Night by Wilson Phillips to all.....

Hmmm... Where should i start... Must have emo-ing too much till don't know where should i start.... ok there you go.........

13.12.2008 Company Hi-Tea @ Shangri-la.

Wanted to take pictures of the food but then decided not to... Cause the plate is like so BIG then is like i only take a little bit of these and that and look so messy in the plate so nah... decided not to take any pictures of food! Ohh but i do have some others taken... lazy to upload... BLah... Food not that nice actually but i really enjoy their teas that they served!! 90+ kind but tried a few too la.... And most important enjoy the company with those gals!!! I love you ppl... really nice catching up again... miss ya... will be looking forward to another catch up~~



After Hightea, headed for KTV session also company event.... so long since i last sing and drink... again was a nice one~ Enjoyed... Took a stroll down Orchard Road starring at those beautiful lightings with .... (hehehe) Overall a nice stay out weekend....

Oh... ignoring those "Emo" post i had earlier, yeah an indeed i was like so upset with what i am doing but nevertheless everything is cleared now!! Most Important I am HAPPY once AGAIN... I will cherish this time and not do any more silly stuff to hurt each other again.... *knock knock my head and make sure it gets in*

Was having TEDIOUS stock take making me staying up late to complete work yada yada...... Don't wish to whine since it's OVER! and overall was a successful one!! Yeah!! I can do it!! haha... ought to give myself a break catch a movie too... which is Twilight over the weekend at The Cathy. my first time watching in that theatre.... not a bad place though... yeah and met an old friend... It's such a small world... anyway my friend, best wishes to you ya... and nice seeing you again too... take good care ya...

Overall rating for this show.... Hmmm... Maybe just 6/10...
Apart from the beauty and hunk in there yeah and the romance story which is like "Modern Romeo & juliet" or Rather my date with a vampire (hk series) at some part it's like so funny like when their actions taken place. Never regret watching this romance movie especially with him..


Thank for the everything... looking forward to many many more happy memories with you.....

It's 2 more days to Christmas!!! Yeah my favourite holiday!! Everyone Enjoy this Festive ya.... A song for you ppl~~~ HO HO HO... Merry Christmas.........

快要死掉了！！！ 气死我了！！！ 为什么我会那么倒霉？？ 遇到这些没良心的人！！！ 我快要透不过气了！！！ 明天就是我的死期了。。。到现在我什么都不能做。。。 =（ 不能让他们打倒我！！！ 因为我只要笑一笑没有什么事情过不了！！！ 我可以的！！ 加油！ 加油！加油！

我最心痛的是。。。。。。。。

不是我拒绝了你，而是明明喜欢在你的怀里，却让你觉得我不愿意和你在一起！

不是让你觉得我不愿意和你在一起，而是离开你以后我痛苦万分，追悔不已！

不是我痛苦万分追悔不已，而是即使追悔痛惜，也没有回头说，其实我爱上了你！

而是当我想放下自尊表白时，你已冷漠的说，你也想去想一想！

不是你冷漠的说你已不在意，而是你放手了，我却永远活在遗憾里，不能忘记！

不是我活在遗憾里，不能忘记，而是你始终不懂我的悲哀，不明白我内心的孤寂！

不是你不懂我的悲哀，不明白我的孤寂，而是我即使痛彻心脾，却不能放声哭泣！

但现在，不知不觉的我的眼泪渐渐的从脸颊流下。

I'm feeling so tired, mentally tired, physically tired, tired....tired.... tired.... =( I wish i could be heard, but again i don't wish to whine and whine and whine.... =( i'm unhappy... i'm upset.... i feel like crying........ what should i do?

Later will be working then going for company xmas gathering high tea at Shangri La followed by KTV session after that.... i should be feeling energise and looking forward to it right? but why am i not feeling so? arghhhhhhhhhhh................ Enough said.... hope to update more of tomorrow's event....

Family day at East Coast Park, Had lunch at a Seafood restaurant.
Some pictures to share~
Too Many so post a few to show.

Overall Rating: 8/10, services is good too. Price wise reasonable, it's about $29 inclusive with the 10% of service charge and 7% of GST per pax. Up to 40 dishes to try, just that each dish can only be order once. But if you ever try all the dishes they are really restaurant standard and not those anyhow cook. Will be nice if more people go together, get to try many dishes they served there. Most important!! the freshness of the food served!! Thumbs up!!

遇见了一个真的好久不见的同学. 想回去那时候我们在学校的日子,脸上就带出了微笑. 我们大概有六年没见面了吧.以交换了联络号码.或许接近假期可以到她家做个拜访. 大家都各忙各的,岁月不留人,一转眼我们的年龄也渐渐高深.老了老了... 哈哈哈...

最近在平常日子,好像发生了许多事.一言难尽... 在精神方面,感觉到很累也很折磨,一自在寻找自己想要的快乐.大概是老天给我的考验吧,但我也希望它能高抬贵手,天啊!放我一条生路吧....成全我吧....

在这个星期，时间过得很充实。忙着戳被工作，还有一些宝贵的课程。最近也有了许多夜生活。好久都没这么晚出门了。期待着圣诞节的到来。颇不期待的快点就是二零零九年。希望一切都可以重新再来。迎接一个新的年，快乐，安乐，健康，过这无忧无虑的日子和许多好事的来领。

到了图书馆，借了几本关于如何面对爱情/感情的书，听起来好像好可笑吧。已经好久都没借那些书来读了。读了过后又好多感触，忽然发现我对于感情的事/看法已经有许多的改变。好矛盾的事，不知道哪一些才是心理可以接受的。

至于怒哀。。。咳。。。看就不再去提起了。。累了，等心情好多的时候再写更多好心情的日记。。