After a while, people do get tired of repetition and maybe that's how love turns to hate. As Life grinds you day by day, you get detached from things that once meant alot and you forget, what you are doing here and how much you used to love.....

留意到了吗？我有换了图。。加上了一首贺年歌，搞些新年气氛。。。

刚去了一个很多美好和悲伤回忆的地方，风景美妙，空气新鲜，天空添满了星星。心情温和。。。忽然好多感触。。。 好想找到和我同类的半。

人总会有些阴影，童年难以抛却，我们抱着不放，任凭青春的点滴流浪。总有些伤痛，成长难以释怀，我们拼命挣扎，任凭岁月的更替交换。总有些世事，今天难以左右，我们固执死守，任凭荆棘的耀武扬威。

于是我们带着满身的负荷，像是一只蜗牛在日夜蹒跚，有壳不怕下雨天，偶尔停驻，休息充足了，就要继续前行，不知道奔赴的终点站是哪里，也不知道自己是否可以再见明天的太阳。

有时，空虚来袭，就像是开启了独自演出的序幕，自己像个可怜的小丑，自编自演，自娱自乐，世界瞬间空洞的，越来越可怕。

或者，周遭莫名而来的压力莫名的忧愁包围了自己，我们仍然还是要笑脸迎人，乔装自己是个打不倒的小强，看着匆匆行走的他们，我们的无助，无人知晓。

有时就在感慨，会有谁真的懂我们呢？

我们只是想找到一个和自己相同的那个人，可以让自己的所有悲痛与欢笑，分享给他、一个眼神一个手势，就可以慰藉到自己脆弱的心灵，可以从他的身上，看到一个真实的自我。好让自己不那么悲痛欲绝、不那么形单影只。

可悲哀的是，这个世界孤单的，让我们寻觅不到一个，这样的同类。

伤感早不是什么新鲜的，一种淡淡的忧郁一直缠绕心头。从何而来挥之不去，太多的时间不知道自己在做什么该做什么，只知道累。

累....... 多久了，为什么没有人能真的能让我开心，让我感觉到幸福的存在，好像什么都是烟花，只灿烂在那一时，留下的是一地的狼藉。

烟什么时间真的成了我的伙伴。不想像个男人一样的坚强，我是如此的柔弱的一个女子。个性太坚强不是我的错，太多的经历让我不得不如此。不想轻易的在去对谁交心，怕了。

我真的是飘零的雪儿了吗？心无家可归吗? 这样的日子我不喜欢，我怕。网络开始让我恐惧，我开始怕了，为什么要给我这样的感觉？为什么把寒冷的夜留给我？

一个个朋友都很开心吗？我不知道他们是不是真的开心，我只知道我在假装我的开心。笑颜如花真的是我吗？我在流泪吗？是哭了还是有沙子吹进了眼睛，我不知道。我只知道我累了，想找个属于自己的港湾停留了。我不喜欢漂泊的感觉了。我真的变了，想用手抓住什么了。却发现原来什么都不是我的，我抓住的只是风的影子，雨的泪滴，我的梦一层层被残忍的剥开，让我如此的痛。

我在做什么？不知道，只知道疯起来的那个不是我。要我做回那个开心的雪儿吗？我能吗？我还是我吗？

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Such strong and powerful words and yet sometimes so hard to understand or become.Despite its simplicity, this love is often so difficult to grasp. But it speaks to me. This is timeless. It holds so many truths. I have taken a look into my past and have seen the many times i did not love this way... or how many times i should have loved this way,but didn't..

我并没有怪你，我也没生你的气，我很开心你终于做出了一的决定。真的知道自己要些什么，只要你开心，我也会为你开心。我祝福你。也许是真的吧，你可以很爱一个人，但是你不需要和他在一起，只要他快乐，我也心满意住了。在此我想对他说，在我们在一起的几个月以来，给了我那么多甜蜜的回忆，我真的真得很秦兴有机会和你相爱。虽然只有三个月，但重要的不是念情的长短，而是我们在一起的时光，有多没开心多没难忘，我知道你不会再回来了，可是我不要你伤心，我要你开心，我也要你知道，你和我在一起的这些日子，我都会永远记得。。。

回忆那些过去心好像有刀在割.真想给自己画一个圈圈,圈住所有对你的思恋,也想给自己画一个完美的句号.告别昨日那美好时光.可惜我做不到,背着自己的心去说不爱你,也不想你.我恨我自己明明知道不可以,却由着自己的心去放纵,伤了自己也伤了你.我恨我自己总找借口不去想你,哪怕想得无法入睡也恨自己口是心非的说放得下你,站在路上看着从身边走过的人们都在为了生计忙碌着我突然感觉不到自己的存在.心里在想这世上有人跟我一样么跟我一样的孤单时时控制不住自己.任眼泪从眼角滑落我才发现,我哪怕是忘了自己也忘不了你,我才知道原来我是真的不能没有你,对不起我还是爱你

I think that when people break up, there really should be rules. I remember my girlfriend telling me, over and over and over and OVER again, that I absolutely MUST follow the "no contact" rule. I'm a stubborn person, and it took me many many tries to finally do it (hope this time it work out for me), but I can assure you, once I did start the "no contact" rule, I began to feel much better. That is, of course, until the ex broke the rule...but that's a different story altogether, too personal to share.

I've been talking with a lot of my friends lately, and it seems like most of us are going through the same thing although in different stages. I stumbled across the following and thought it was amazing advice and wanted to share it. Enjoy and I hope it helps.

I read this wonderful comment by some anonymous person on a forum and I want you all to read this too.. It'll Help you FOR SURE!!! Please take your time off and read this and I guarantee that you'll feel better! It is so true!

"I've been on this site for almost four months now. So, for all you newbies who ask the questions, "Will the hurting ever stop," or "Will my ex come back," or "Why did he/she do this," this is how it typically goes down.

You two break up....doesn't matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, harassing, phoning, e-mailing, Msn-ing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months.

You lose weight. You neglect yourself, your house, your job (how many hours do we all log on this site while we are at work?). You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. You cry at the drop of a dime. You can't even comprehend that your life might not again include that "special person." You begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive you crazy. In your mind, they have become omnipotent, all encompassing, all everything.

You convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with "the best person in the world." You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex. You wear a sad face for the world to see.

They (the ex's) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just "replace" you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else. Shopping, cuddling watching movie, antiquing, etc.... Whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new.

You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back, yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

For those of us who do still have contact with our ex's we begin selling ourselves short. Doing stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that "Sex does not imply hope."

You, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching the internet using phrases such as "break ups," "divorce stopper," whatever. You stumble upon this site, pay your money because your curious and low and behold, you find all of us folks in various stages of this whole breakup bullshits.

You voraciously read the posts. You search for news of those who "got their mates back." You're on the site constantly. You'll read the books and think "Ah I can do this. I can get this person back." You begin your "no contact" and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex's. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what you'll get and receive.

Time goes by. You'll do some stupid things. You'll call your ex when you shouldn't. You'll call when you've had too much to drink. You'll call even after 50 people on this site tell you not to. You'll show up on their doorstep, hating yourself all the time. Then you'll come back to this site and ask everyone to tell you why you were so stupid as to do whatever it was you did.

Then you'll get serious about no contact. It'll hurt, but you try to stick to it. Here's the turning point for most. For those folks who have contact with their ex's, your no contact will either bring them sniffing curiously around or they'll be somewhere high fiving their friends thanking the God's that you haven't called.

Now's the tough time. Nothing but time works. Everyday the ache in your heart grows a little less. It's only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better. You'll have setbacks. You'll run into your ex accidently. You'll run into mutual friends who'll tell you something about your ex that'll have you high-tailing it home for a good cry. You'll see your ex with their new "friend." You'll receive a phone call or an e-mail from your ex who "doesn't want to be in a relationship but still wants to be friends (with benefits if you allow).

Here's another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with it's demise. If you miss this part, you go through all the suffering for nothing because Buddy, you'll be back here again. This site is to teach you about you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It's the REASON that you're going through this. God (or whatever your higher power is) needed you to learn something about YOU. Don't miss out on the lesson.

Then one day you'll smile because one day you'll decide to clean the muck that has accumulated in your house. And one day you'll go outside and admit to the universe that you surrender what control you thought you had.

And one day you'll decide to date again. And one day you'll go out on your first date and it will likely be a disaster. And then you'll either force yourself to continue dating or you'll decide that you aren't ready to date but you are ready to be out amongst people again. And many of you will have some quick reconciliations with your ex's. Many of us won't. But one day, it won't matter as much. Because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And you'll begin to be able to think of life possibly without that person and not dissolve into a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

And for most of us, sadly, life will go on without that mate. That's the truth, amigos. Don't want to dash your hopes but probably less than 3% of the people on this site get back with their mates. Sobering isn't it? But, as the site instructs, you must accept this before you can truly begin to heal or draw your ex back to you. For the lucky (maybe unlucky one's depending on how much work it will take to keep a mate that has wandered back) who get back with their ex's, many will find that the paradise they envisioned isn't reality and what they once thought was gold has a certain tarnish to it now. But they stay and try and make it work because it's comfortable or, if they are really lucky, it's meant to be.

But for most of us. Life goes on. And one day you'll find yourself having a gut busting laugh over something totally stupid and you'll think to yourself "I am getting better." And finally (thank God) you'll have sex with some new and find that a) if it wasn't good, at least you did it or b) it was so much better than with your ex you wonder why you waited so long to get back out there. And you'll know you're one the road to recovery.

I guess what I'm trying to convey here is, while each situation is unique, the characteristics of most of our situations are the same. Most of us will go through at least something that I've written here. So, when someone tells you on this site that time will help you get through it, believe them. When they tell you that "trust me, it will get better and you will stop hurting eventually," believe them. And when they give you good advice that your head understands but your heart rejects, take a moment to think before you react.

Don't beat yourself up if you do something that you wished you hadn't (calling, contacting, etc) WE ALL DID AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. And most of all remember that being happily single is an alternative. Even if society is beating it into your head that you MUST have a mate, take some time to heal before going back out there. There are plenty of good people to love, but don't go back out there broken, jaded about love, etc. Accept realty. Experience the pain. Learn the lesson. Actively try to heal. Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back.

And the universe will take care of the rest."

I realized that this could have been referring to me. I'll be the first to admit, I think I put a lot more emphasis on my interactions be it in friendships or relationships with others than most people would. It's because I believe in connecting with others on various levels and maintaining friendships.

Yes, of course, there are bonds that I truly appreciate beyond what I will ever describe here, but then again, there are people who I consider somewhat "necessary" in my life. Not because they are worthy of keeping as friends, but because of what I have gained by knowing them. I view my unpleasant experiences in life as growing pains and my most cherished learned lessons as beautiful memories. One is not more important than the other. I am who I am because of my interactions with others however big or small, profound or infinitesimal. For one, I can appreciate what love I now have in my life primarily because of all the heartache I've felt (because of said interactions).

So although some people are not necessarily a priority, their presence in my life, although brief, has placed a lasting effect on how I feel and think. I am much stronger and wiser, contrary to what some may believe. I don't think I could have said that 5 years ago. Which to me is growth, by any means. I know I am not the same woman I was then. I'm not even the same woman I was a year ago.

Which brings me back to my interactions with others. In the grand scheme of things, I know I cherish my friendships with others a lot deeper than what they probably feel. Would that necessarily be wrong or a waste of myself? I don't really know. If I had to base my friendships solely on how others view our connection, I think I'd be wasting my time. You see, I don't take for granted what has been placed before me. For whatever reason, people have come and gone in my life and from those experiences I've grown and learned and continue to reflect. I'd like to think I'm a better me ,new and improved, just constantly being refined with every interaction, and the people I am yet to meet will only benefit from it somehow.

But growth through these relationships is a continuous process. I stumble, I fall, I get scrapes - but I'm back up, dusting myself off and learning how and where to walk and how fast to run. So whether or not I'm considered an option in someone's life, I know it's not always the same case for me.

Is it a curse or a blessing to have this outlook?

P.S. It's a stinging statement - especially when love's involved. You may make someone a priority in your life, but deep down you also know, you may very well be just an option to them. Ouch...

Enjoy the littlest thing in life, for one day you'd realised,
it's gonna be the greatest thing you'd see in life, after all.

I've been going through number of days, telling myself
No matter how much I brood over it or getting sad and all,
life still goes on, everyday still passes normally without fail.
I should not let love bring me down,I must be happy..

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile. Because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one. So that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve get until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love will not provide assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return. Just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours.

Always put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Time flies fast... Went thru many ups and down...

All sorts of feeling i got, be it happy, sad, sourish or bitterness life over the years...

People just walks in and out of my life, like it's so common nowadays and nothing can stay for long or forever.

Have been letting my heart be broken time and time over again.

A few friendships gone in a moment of impulse or unwillingness.

Doing something i shouldn't have done or said (maybe due to my stubbornness or immature act).

Or very simply, losing contact as time flies by ( as said ppl walks in and out of our lives).

Many people walk in and out of our lives, some stay and some just hang around waiting for something to happen.

A certain few will drift in and out, *and if i happen to drift in and out of your life, i m sorry. i have my reasons, just try to bear with me.*

Many things that both of us may have done will always be kept as memories apart of my life.

Time where we share anything under shine or rain.

Time where we enjoy doing common interest things together/ or spending time together relaxing and enjoying ourselves.

Being honest with each other and shares feelings together...we used to be everything we are not now.

And sadly, as we proceed to a different part of our lives, we drifted apart, seeing each other either occasionally or we don't even get to meet again.

There's surely some misunderstanding that aren't really cleared up, and some won't even bother to listen and things were just let it as it is. Saded....

Fate is a un-describable thing, It's a very strange feeling.

You can either have it, or you don't.

It's fate that allows one to be friends, lovers and even a couple.

If i won't have spoke to you, i won't have known you, if i won't have know you, things may not turn out the way it is now. The process has joy, laughter, sadness, angry-ness all sorts of feelings...

I wouldn't have keep in contact if you weren't important in my life, (always or soon it will fades off, i'm not sure)

I wouldn't have be fond of you if you didn't say or do those memorable stuffs that touches me.

I wish i can forgo them which i know it's going to be tough time for me, i can't seems to be myself. =(

Many regrets in my life found, and there's nothing i can do too but just to look forward for the better. (i wish i can do so)

Now you ain't the one anymore, i hope i am not one of yours either.

I am glad, we are friends, again.

I wish you all the best and do, keep in contact.

It all seems so cliche to say , keep in contact, but how many of us really do that?

this is dedicated to whoever you think fits the descriptions of who i m writing.

*this post was inspired from my deary cousin rene and gv me courage to write out so much*

Sigh.... i really dislike starting a post with a sigh.. but this time i was also feeling reluctant to even write my blog... anyway guess i have to face it so i am writing now.

Roller coaster life over the few days.... is like anything can just happen over nite... yes i am alone now... I'm sick.. And yes and at the start of the year! Nice one ya! Guess i am the one to be blame for everything, this is what i brought for myself..Seriously i hate myself alot. By right i shouldn't even be complaining here of what had happened. I'm out of love this time... I never expect to feel this way.. Really... I haven't stop missing him ever since the last depart. I can't stop thinking of him. His look will just come to my mind and my heart wrenched eventually. I am literally wordless for myself and just feel the deep pain in my heart. It's been so long since i missed someone so badly. It's been years. It really hurts me alot. Walking pass places where we been, recalls many happiness stuff and tears start flowing out from the eyes like non controllable.

The scenes just come to my mind and i can sort of see right infront of my eyes of what happened at certain places during the time. When then can i get over all this? Can i really forget about this person? I wish i could. The moment the phrase come in to my mind which was from him. My heart will have a strong determinations asking me to drag myself away from him. He said he felt happy,scare,sad.stress and confused when he was with me. I never thought i would give such feelings to him so much. I want him to be happy and not others. So now i can only wish him happiness while i look for mine too...

I really doubt i can do so... i really need alot of motivation and help... al the while i've been helping others with their love problems and now it hit on me... what should i do? why can't i help myself this time round? Will me weak heart die on me this time? i can't stop missing him... When i close my eyes to bed i will think of him. When i wakes up i would think of him too and my tears will start to flow down my face... I sound so silly i know... bear with me.....

I want to apologise to some friends too... I am sorry.... i didn't mean to hurt you, but i really know how the pain u got from me. my bad... I'm sorry....

WWwWWwWEEEeEeeEE........... It's 2009!! A Brand NewYear!! A Brand New Start!!! Celebrated New Year countdown with family, friends and dar..... Went cousin's place for family gathering, a very short one though then rush my way to The Cathay for "Yes Man" with dar... Then we rush for the fireworks at the Esplanade... Really beautiful and a very memorable one.... regrettable was, i was so excited and happily watching the fireworks with dar, forgetting to take photos of it. Nevertheless, i've captured every single moment in my heart. =) Really very beautiful and heart warming... I wanna thank everyone who walk with me thru year 2008. And will be a better tomorrow always.... Thank You... and to someone who is very special to me now...

Review for "YES MAN" : 7/10
I always like to watch movies starring by Jim Carrey, as for this show you can see the review plotted below which was escalated from the official website review. It's really a hilarious show to watch, may not carry meaningful story line but still i would give it 7/10. I laughed thruout the show.

"Yes Man” stars Jim Carrey as Carl Allen, a guy whose life is going nowhere-the operative word being “no” until he signs up for a self help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything…. And anything. Unleashing the power of “YES” begins to transform Carl’s life in amazing and unexpected ways, getting him promoted at work and opening the doors to a new romance. Bur his willingness to embrace every opportunity might just become too much of a good thing.

After countdown we catch another show "Bedtime Stories" at first i thought this show would be something as nice as "Jumanji" Not that bad though...Was laughing my way thru out the show too....


Bedtime Stories is an adventure comedy starring Adam Sandler as Skeeter Bronson, a hotel handyman whose life is changed forever when the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to mysteriously come true. When he tries to help his family by telling one outlandish tale after another, it’s the kids unexpected contributions that turn all of their lives upside down.