Sigh.... i really dislike starting a post with a sigh.. but this time i was also feeling reluctant to even write my blog... anyway guess i have to face it so i am writing now.

Roller coaster life over the few days.... is like anything can just happen over nite... yes i am alone now... I'm sick.. And yes and at the start of the year! Nice one ya! Guess i am the one to be blame for everything, this is what i brought for myself..Seriously i hate myself alot. By right i shouldn't even be complaining here of what had happened. I'm out of love this time... I never expect to feel this way.. Really... I haven't stop missing him ever since the last depart. I can't stop thinking of him. His look will just come to my mind and my heart wrenched eventually. I am literally wordless for myself and just feel the deep pain in my heart. It's been so long since i missed someone so badly. It's been years. It really hurts me alot. Walking pass places where we been, recalls many happiness stuff and tears start flowing out from the eyes like non controllable.

The scenes just come to my mind and i can sort of see right infront of my eyes of what happened at certain places during the time. When then can i get over all this? Can i really forget about this person? I wish i could. The moment the phrase come in to my mind which was from him. My heart will have a strong determinations asking me to drag myself away from him. He said he felt happy,scare,sad.stress and confused when he was with me. I never thought i would give such feelings to him so much. I want him to be happy and not others. So now i can only wish him happiness while i look for mine too...

I really doubt i can do so... i really need alot of motivation and help... al the while i've been helping others with their love problems and now it hit on me... what should i do? why can't i help myself this time round? Will me weak heart die on me this time? i can't stop missing him... When i close my eyes to bed i will think of him. When i wakes up i would think of him too and my tears will start to flow down my face... I sound so silly i know... bear with me.....

I want to apologise to some friends too... I am sorry.... i didn't mean to hurt you, but i really know how the pain u got from me. my bad... I'm sorry....