I realized that this could have been referring to me. I'll be the first to admit, I think I put a lot more emphasis on my interactions be it in friendships or relationships with others than most people would. It's because I believe in connecting with others on various levels and maintaining friendships.

Yes, of course, there are bonds that I truly appreciate beyond what I will ever describe here, but then again, there are people who I consider somewhat "necessary" in my life. Not because they are worthy of keeping as friends, but because of what I have gained by knowing them. I view my unpleasant experiences in life as growing pains and my most cherished learned lessons as beautiful memories. One is not more important than the other. I am who I am because of my interactions with others however big or small, profound or infinitesimal. For one, I can appreciate what love I now have in my life primarily because of all the heartache I've felt (because of said interactions).

So although some people are not necessarily a priority, their presence in my life, although brief, has placed a lasting effect on how I feel and think. I am much stronger and wiser, contrary to what some may believe. I don't think I could have said that 5 years ago. Which to me is growth, by any means. I know I am not the same woman I was then. I'm not even the same woman I was a year ago.

Which brings me back to my interactions with others. In the grand scheme of things, I know I cherish my friendships with others a lot deeper than what they probably feel. Would that necessarily be wrong or a waste of myself? I don't really know. If I had to base my friendships solely on how others view our connection, I think I'd be wasting my time. You see, I don't take for granted what has been placed before me. For whatever reason, people have come and gone in my life and from those experiences I've grown and learned and continue to reflect. I'd like to think I'm a better me ,new and improved, just constantly being refined with every interaction, and the people I am yet to meet will only benefit from it somehow.

But growth through these relationships is a continuous process. I stumble, I fall, I get scrapes - but I'm back up, dusting myself off and learning how and where to walk and how fast to run. So whether or not I'm considered an option in someone's life, I know it's not always the same case for me.

Is it a curse or a blessing to have this outlook?

P.S. It's a stinging statement - especially when love's involved. You may make someone a priority in your life, but deep down you also know, you may very well be just an option to them. Ouch...